During a divorce, it is easy to get extremely caught up in everything. You may be fighting for the house you have lived in for a decade or you might be arguing that you should keep a rare gemstone collection you have gathered over the years. When you have kids, it can make divorce even more complex. In fact, while you may be thinking that your kids are at the forefront of your thoughts during the divorce process, you may be thinking about what works for you, what is convenient for you, and what will allow you to have as much time with your kids as possible. It can be easy–even with your kids constantly on your mind–to lose sight of what is best for them and how to best take care of them during a divorce. When you work with a lawyer during the divorce process, you want to know that your lawyer will also work to take care of your kids throughout this process.
How can you help your kids while you get a divorce?
When you want to ensure this process is as painless as possible and is done with their best interests in mind, there are a few things to consider when you are negotiating the terms of your divorce.
- Don’t expect the judge to automatically know what’s right for you. This isn’t to say that judges aren’t good at their jobs. At the end of the day, however, a judge will not know you and your family personally and they will make a decision based on only the facts presented in front of them. If there are reasons your spouse should not have custody of your children, it is important that you bring this information to light. If it makes sense for your children to have as much time with both parents as possible (for their sakes), then this is important as well.
- Don’t seek retribution in all of this. Especially in cases where the divorce is bitter, it is easy to want to go to court and demand justice. Whether your spouse lied for years, has a gambling problem, or cheated on you, you may be prepared to take out all of your anger on them by going to a judge. However, divorce, especially with children, is a clean start. If you are able to settle outside of court, you will have a better chance of getting the outcome you want and making less of a public statement. Keeping it private can be a huge help to shielding your children from the messiness of this.
- Avoid making your spouse’s life worse. Essentially, your spouse may deserve whatever they have coming to them, but not at your kid’s expense. You might have had a terrible spouse but they may still be a good parent. If your child will benefit from time with both parents–and most studies show this to be the case–don’t embellish anything or paint them in an inaccurate light so they will have less time with your child. Consider what will allow your child to grow up best.
When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, you want a lawyer who will take care of you and your kids. Reach out to attorneys, like family attorneys from a law firm like The McKinney Law Group today.